What is Respectful Smartass?

Respectful Smartass is a weekly newsletter from a twenty something writer/comic with a flimsy grip on reality and a knack for flirting with the unknown. AKA it’s me in all my weird-sappy-introspective-vulnerable selfness. In all my insecurities and multitudes, yada yada yada. My intention with this newsletter is to write what I want, when I don’t want (ie. consistently) and to make you laugh, think, and roll your eyes (almost) every Friday. This is me honing my voice in real time. Being the writer I’ve always dreamt of being – in your inbox – for your amusement and my growth.

Editions will include personal essays, satire, advice you probably shouldn’t take, pop quizzes, my favorite TikToks, lists, ramblings, jokes I’m working out, etc. We’ll see what it evolves into (if we make it that far before the planet burns up around us).

I’d be honored for you to come along for the ride. Whether you’ve known me my whole life (hey, Mamaw!) or you stumbled across me on the internet, welcome. I’m Ariana Newhouse, a writer/comedian figuring it out and laughing along the way (barf).

Let’s talk coin.

This is a free weekly newsletter because Financial Struggle and I are old friends. And don’t tell her I said this, but she’s kind of a bitch. I’m not trying to saddle any of my adoring fans with the burden of getting to know her.

However, if your pockets are feeling heavy and you’d like to opt for a paid subscription, your contribution will help keep this content free for everyone else. I can also guarantee it will help me cry less. And we all desperately need that. God I’m so dehydrated. 

Plus, 1% of all Respectful Smartass profits go to removing carbon from the atmosphere and combatting climate change. So you can feel like a good person supporting me, Mama Earth, and future generations or whatever.

Paid subscriptions include the Friday newsletter, biweekly Dopamine Dumps (feel-good posts) sent out every other Wednesday, and juicy secret tidbits exclusively for paid subs. So if you’re into that sort of elite status, rearrange your budget for me. ;) 

Benefits of subscribing include:

  1. The clout of being an OG fan before the big dogs inevitably discover my comedic genius and hurdle me to stardom

  2. Food for thought, advice you probably shouldn’t take, and those faint nose-exhale laughs every Friday  

  3. My undying love forevermore

YATB

Thank you so much for being here. If you feel so inclined, please subscribe or pass Respectful Smartass along to a friend in desperate need of silliness. You are the best.

Talk soon!

Ariana


People

Ariana Newhouse
Writer. Comedian. Wheel of brie. (she/her)