A Love Letter to Taxes

LOVE LETTER

My dear Taxes,

No matter how hard I try to stay away and swear up and down you’re no good for me, I always find myself crawling back to you this time of year. When I’m with you, my heart goes turbo. It’s more than butterflies in my stomach. It’s like having thousands of professional accountants on standby. You know the flutter.

You have expensive taste, and I admire that. It’s so refreshing that you aren’t afraid to ask for what you deserve. Or rather drop hints about what you think you deserve for me to decode so I can guess how much you think you deserve and then you can tell me whether I guessed right or wrong with the full force of the American judicial system behind you. You’re so silly like that. I know I shouldn’t put up with lovers who play games, but I love your playful spirit. You’ve kept that childlike wonder with the help of the IRS.