A High Dessert Jelly Belly Tooth Decay Slay

DOPAMINE DUMP

Hello lovelies,

I hope wherever you are this week there is clean air to breathe and sunshine to bathe in. When things get bad, it’s even more important to recognize the glimmers of good. Here are some of mine. Please share yours by responding to this email or dropping them in the comments below.

1. GRAPE JELLY!!!!1!1!!1! 🍇

If you’re like me, you’ve been suffering through The Great Grape Jelly Shortage of 2023. Some sources say the jelly shortage is due to a meager grape harvest after several heat waves. Other sources say the shortage is due to an uptick in consumers buying grape jelly specifically to feed orioles. (The birds love grape jelly.) All of the sources I’m referencing are from TikTok. It’s called investigative journalism. Look it up (on TikTok).

I’ve been scouring the shelves for grape jelly for months to no avail. Yesterday, Adam came home from a grocery run with the ultimate prize. A fresh jar of grape jelly!!!! All for me!!!! He doesn’t even like grape jelly!!!! I am #lucky and #blessed and #inlove #withgrapejelly!!!! Of course, I had to make a classic PB&J today.

Fun fact: I ate PB&J every day for an entire school year in first grade. (Mom, fact-check me. Was it first or kindergarten?) I friggin loved PB&J. But I ate it too much and grew devastatingly sick of it, to the point where I couldn’t eat it for almost a decade. In late high school, I came back around to my beloved spreadable lunch sammy, and now I eat it when I’m feeling nostalgic or generally have a hankering. It only hits with grape jelly though, so this sandwich was basically a homecoming.

2. A Tooth Decay Slay 🦷

Turns out I have the toothy pain tolerance of a god?