#89: Notes from a Newly Minted Woman of the World
HUMOR
Greetings!
I am back from ~Europe~ (the continent, not the Union, I know about Brexit and stuff) and ready to make it my entire personality. This is my right as I never got a study abroad semester. Here’s what I learned in a week of ooo-ing and aah-ing and walking and ogling:
1. I love old.
London, however modern, felt ancient to me. The city has been around for approximately 1,977 years. Never before have I felt more baby as an American. We really are the punk-ass kid country of the world who got thrown into a Gifted & Talented program so now believes she knows more than all the grownups. You want to talk about history? England’s got loads.
2. You may not have the dream head for your dream hat.
The English know how to hat, okay? There are so many hat and cap shops — and I’m not talking about Lids. I coveted a black baker boy style cap, an elevated version of the pink crushed velvet one I begged my mom to buy me from Limited Too in fourth grade. The exact style I was looking for was surprisingly hard to find in a women’s fit. Alas, once it was found, it looked like a rotted-out deflated pumpkin when perched atop my noggin. Some dreams are never meant to be realized. I guess I’m a baseball cap girl for life. (USA! USA!)
3. I love an ornate facade.
The British also know how to building. Their buildings are beautiful, intricate, and delicate-looking even in stone. Why don’t we make them like that anymore? Minimalist, modern, stripped? Blech! Give me moldings and carvings and sculptures, oh my! I want romance! I want beauty! I want drama! What a joy to walk past building after building slathered in artistry instead of pure functionality. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gimme.
4. Turns out you can’t take a vacation from yourself.
You’re going to be with you wherever you go. And that means you’re not going to be as chill as you thought when the itinerary Adam planned was more of a loose sketch and less of a time-stamped, by-the-minute, play-by-play, of your every move including directions, public bathrooms, and scheduled naps, like you would have done.
5. If you need to remedy traveler’s constipation, pay to poo.
I was entirely stopped up (thanks, IBS) with little hope of relief until we wandered into Covent Garden. It’s a gorgeous covered market with shops, antique stalls, perfumeries, restaurants, you name it. Downstairs, they have a public bathroom located directly behind the stage where musical acts perform. I wonder if the wafting stench affects their ability to sing. We stopped in for a piss (British for pee or also drunk?) and to my surprise, I was required to pay two quid to use the toilet! Two quid! (Quid is like buck, slang for pound. I’m not patronizing you. I didn’t know this and was confused about the two currencies, but it’s the same currency just a different name, so you’re not dumb, don’t worry.) Like any red-blooded American capitalist, I was darn tootin going to get my money’s worth in that stall. So I did a lot more than tootin, if you know what I mean.
6. I bet the Boston Harbor smelled divine after that tea party.
I don’t know what the British are doing differently, but their tea is the tits. It smells better. It tastes better. It seems to cost a lot more? But whatever, it’s worth it. Their tea is the real deal.
7. There’s a difference between a walk & explore vacation and a sunbathe & snore vacation.
European city vacations and relax on the beach vacations feel very different. During and after. Our London excursion was about adventure and exploration, not really relaxation. You have to pace yourself or you’ll end up crying in the hotel at 10:42pm because you’re too exhausted to pick a dinner place for tomorrow and this never would have happened if we had scheduled every minute of the trip prior to boarding our flight like I wanted to (note from the narrator, your wiser, two-week older self, if you had made one of those insane itineraries you would’ve broken down and cried much earlier, just saying xx). London was enriching, not relaxing, and that’s satisfying in a totally different way.
8. Walk in awe.
I have basically no authority to claim this because I have been on precisely one international vacation, but I think the best way to take in a new place is to simply walk through it in awe. Soak up all the newness and difference. People watch. Building watch. Gawk! Ogle! Admire! Awe! Awe! Awe!
9. It is possible to completely unpack and do all of your laundry the day you get back (brag), BUT that’s all you get.
If you cash in all your chips on this seemingly inhuman feat, jet lag gets to claim the rest of your week. Those are the rules.
10. Fish and chips isn’t that good.
Sorry!
NEWS! NEWS! NEWS!
#1: My gorgeous, talented, mega-intelligent little sister Gabby matched with her TOP CHOICE pharmacy residency program!!! We are so proud of our superstar PharmD! Please send her your well wishes and congratulations. She’s freaking earned it.
#2: Two of my beautiful friends have started substacks, so here’s a little plug:
Full of It is written by the immeasurable Bradie Gray who I desperately wanted to be the boss of me at the end of my corporate girly era. Luckily and unluckily for me, I escaped before we had the chance to pair up, but not before I was truly blown away by her writing. Hate to call her out like this, but the only thing she’s full of is greatness.
Lo Hot Blooded is penned by my bff Lauren Daeger, but I swear the bestie status isn’t biasing this recommendation. Lauren has a knack for wordsmithing emotion into poetic prose. If you’re a deep feeler with a lust for life, her newsletter is for you.
Subscribe to them both! Or else!
ily bye!
Ariana
Laughed out loud at the idea of your darn tootin basement bathroom bargain… you got the most bang for your quid there (thanks for the currency lesson ;) )
Awesome per usual. Really laughed hard. Thanks as always.