#87: Answering an Alum’s Anxiety in 5-4-3-2-1

HUMOR

When quelling anxiety, it’s important to ground yourself in your body. A great way to do this is to get in tune with your senses. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Identify five things you can see. Four things you can hear. Three things you can touch. Two things you can smell. And one thing you can taste. Once you’ve done that, you should be absolutely cured. Forget therapy and meds. You need to count!

For example, if you start to prickle when you’re visiting your old high school during a short trip home to support your younger sister winning an award at half-time of a varsity basketball game, your 5-4-3-2-1 might look something like this.

5 Things You Can See

1. The darting eyes and awkward posture of a brave middle schooler walking up and down the stadium seating hawking $1 chocolate bars for the band trip to Gatlinburg.

2. The sequined sparkle of the dance team uniforms as they refract the fluorescent lights directly into the eyes of everyone in the stands simultaneously.

3. The other team’s score climbing to a 20-point lead.

4. More mullets than you expected from the student section.

5. Your freshman biology teacher.

4 Things You Can Hear

1. The surrounding dads cussing under their breath because somebody’s son (unclear if theirs?) didn’t drive hard enough to the basket.

2. The surrounding moms shushing and hissing said dads because, “it’s just a game” and, “as long as they’re having fun.”

3. The hopeful gasp of the crowd when a home team hero shoots from deep outside the key.

4. The groans and weak claps that follow when he misses and the other team gets the rebound, barrels down the court, and dunks on us clowns.

3 Things You Can Touch

1. The gritty plastic of bleacher seats.

2. Something slightly sticky and chewed globbed underneath the bleach seats.

3. Your own sweaty pit.

2 Things You Can Smell

1. The putrid mix of B.O. and body spray emanating from the student section.

2. Concession popcorn popped by the Dad’s Club and being wafted into the gym by children of the Dad’s Club dads.

1 Thing You Can Taste

1. The bittersweet nostalgia of days gone by. Tastes suspiciously like leftover chicken poppers and individually cartoned milk.

Hope this helps!

ily bye,

Ariana