#74: Essential Things to Do Before Packing for Your Trip
HUMOR
Check the time — 24 hours before departure — honestly you don’t even need to think about packing yet
Watch Miley Cyrus’s 42-part “Used to Be Young” TikTok series
Take out the dog
Get picked up by your grandparents
Eat a veggie omelet (no peppers) with your grandparents
Bird watch with your grandparents
Check the weather in your destination — low 70s all weekend
Pat yourself on the back for thinking this far ahead
Look up YouTube tutorial for how to stretch out pinched nerve in neck from patting yourself on the back
Think about weather-appropriate outfits you might wear on the trip
Second guess whether the outfits will in fact be weather appropriate
Convince yourself it’s too early to lay out the outfits you were sure of 15 minutes ago but now are rethinking
Have a snack
Get a ring resized
Check the time — 20 hours til departure
Alphabetize the books you kept from your high school reading list
Set aside a book for the trip
Question whether you’ll even need a book for the trip — it’s a bachelorette in Chicago — nothing says PARTAAAY like a 486 page novel
Put back the book
Realize you can at least start reading the book now even if you don’t bring it
Start reading the book
Get sucked further into the book
Check the time — 18 hours til departure
Watch a YouTube tutorial on whittling
Come up with an idea for your newsletter
Restructure your student loan payment plan
Seethe about the staggering prices of higher education
Start crafting a strongly worded letter in your head to whoever is in charge of this cost of college business
Recognize that you will never write down let alone send said letter
Set up auto pay
Lament the lifetime interest figure staring back at you
Close the window
Check your email
Get overwhelmed because you have 297 unread emails
Close the window
Read an article on dream twitching
Fold your laundry (don’t worry about putting it away, you’ll need it out for when you pack!)
Take a quick nap on the folded laundry
Wake up from nap that ended up not being so quick
Refold the laundry you ruined during your not-so-quick nap
Drive to dinner with a friend
Talk for hours
Slurp noodles
Walk to get ice cream and a dark chocolate sea salt covered marshmallow on a stick
Say you really have to go so you can pack
Drive home
Sit down and get soooo sleepy
Decide packing the night before is overrated
Go to sleep
Wake up
Check the time — 4 hours until departure — plenty of time
Brush your teeth
Everything bagel
Everything shower
Brush your teeth again (re: everything bagel)
Root around in the basement until you find your dusty old roller bag
Get the roller bag wiped down and unzipped, pack-ready
Take out the dog
Indulge in some pets and cuddles
Scroll on TikTok
Get sucked down a UFO conspiracy rabbit hole
Contemplate the existence of extraterrestrial life
Briefly contend with your smallness within the universe
Scroll back to dance challenge, ASMR, sketch comedy TikTok
Poop
Wipe, obviously
Realize a list of 74 things is too many for a single newsletter
Decide you should definitely pack that jacket you haven’t worn since 2015
Fling every single clothing item out of your closet and onto the floor
Remember you donated the jacket in 2018
Check the time — 20 minutes until departure
GASP
Frantically run around gathering things in your arms
PANIC PANIC PANIC
I’m on my way to Chicago for my dear friend Dani’s bachelorette party! We’ve been friends since middle school track and it feels like some sort of sick joke that we’re old enough to be getting married and having bachelorettes. Don’t fret. I did pack in time.
Special thanks to our newest paid subscriber Kirsten Wee who has contributed more than 74 funny videos to my Instagram DMs over the years which keep me giggling and inspired. Thank you for your support!! Comically and monetarily. ❤️
Happy weekend!
Ariana
Hope you had a blast in Chicago.
I’m curious if you had to wipe down the dog that was in the roller bag all that time - #57 & 58.