#73: Your Guide to the Blue Supermoon That Already Happened

HUMOR

I hope you saw the moon Wednesday. This guide will not grant you the ability to go back in time and see the moon if you missed it. In fact, the “guide” of it all is a ruse to justify my use of second person in an account of what I did during the super blue moon. (If you’re like huh? I remember something from 10th grade English, and this ain’t it. You’re right. This is first person. The second person hasn’t started yet. Also ain’t ain’t a word.) I love the second person POV because it plops the reader in the protagonist’s shoes. You’re in it. Like Fifteen (Taylor’s Version). Anyway, back to the moon guide.

If you’ve figured out time travel and have yet to monetize it or be taken into government custody to reveal your secrets (kudos!), feel free to travel back to last Wednesday and give this itinerary a spin. (When I say last Wednesday, do you think two days ago or last week? I never know. Will we ever know? These are the issues that divide us.) If you haven’t cracked traversing the space-time continuum, don’t give up! And buckle in because the second person is about to begin. You’re reading:

Your Guide to the Blue Supermoon That Already Happened

You wake up excited for the moon. Alas, the giant orb in the sky is just the stupid life-giving sun. Luckily, patience is a virtue. Not a virtue you necessarily possess but one you know exists at the very least.

You spend the day texting people about the moon, reading articles about the moon, doing other things, and then remembering the moon. You’re alone in your childhood home, waiting on the moon.

Your mom gets home from work and invites you to run errands. You go to a crystal shop (shoutout Inner Path), but that’s just because it’s next door to United Art & Education and your mom needed more scratch-and-sniff stickers (the chocolate ones are bile-inducing). You enter the crystal shop and ask your mom if she feels drawn to any of the stones.

You try to feel drawn to the stones yourself, but trying isn’t really the point. If you’re trying you’re probably not surrendering or whatever it is you need to do to connect with your body and the energy of these stones which are for sale and therefore maybe compromised energetically but hopefully not. Maybe you’re too dense to be drawn by the stones.

Your mom brings you a bracelet of stones. “Your color!” she says. It’s green aventurine. She asks you to look up what it means. Aventurine is said to help curb self-criticism. Your mom was drawn to these stones for you. Since you couldn’t do it yourself, you stupid idiot. Maybe you should buy the bracelet?

A salesman tells you about the moon. He is trying to sell you a necklace and also semi-inaccurately reading your mom’s chart. Remember the moon? How could you forget about the moon! You buy the bracelet so you can get better at criticizing yourself.

You go out to dinner with an old friend and your new bracelet. The friend isn’t old. Your friendship is. More than a decade. The blue supermoon is supposed to dredge up the past. Your TikTok astrologer told you that. You tell your friend. You laugh about the past and local mysteries and buy books and eat noodles.

On the way home, you look for the moon. It’s mocking you behind the clouds. You tell a scary story. It’s borrowed from the past. She pulls into the driveway and you still can’t see the moon.

You go inside. Your parents are up. They follow you back out. The moon! She’s out! She’s huge! She’s super! She’s…not blue?

You howl at the moon. You suck at howling. Like honestly wow that was so bad. Have you never howled before? You try again and again and again. Your parents howl. Your dog won’t howl, which is ironic but you don’t criticize him, only yourself. You charge your new bracelet in the moonlight, thrusting it into the air chanting “charge! charge!” just like witches probably do. You look at the moon and think what the fuck am I going to write for the newsletter.

Am I tired or did the second person give it a slightly somber tone? Maybe it’s just that writing about the moon feels like it should be DEEP rather than anxious and silly? LMK! Or don’t! Whatev! I’m super chill and not at all starved for validation!

Special shoutout to Ken Schnabel, who became a paying subscriber this week! I appreciate your support to the moon and back.

ily bye,

Ariana