#63: What Type of Summer Do You Have in Store?

QUIZ

Happy summer! Because we’re all addicted to the internet and labels, I figured I’d better give you the gift of telling you what your summer will be all about so you can actually enjoy it! Don’t even try to enjoy it before taking this quiz. I mean it. Stay in your box! No thinking outside it!

1. What’s your ideal Tuesday after-work situation?

A. Beach tennis! Sand in my buns, sweat on my brow, yelling at a stranger that my last shot was not “out” and “is he blind.”

B. Happy hour on a patio with pals. Spritz me, baby!

C. There are new episodes of HIMYF (How I Met Your Father) every Tuesday.

D. I don’t understand what you mean by “after work.” I’m vacationing in Greece.

2. What’s your favorite way to spend a lazy summer Sunday?

A. A long, arduous hike labeled “rugged.”

B. Perched by the pool, sunbathing on the patio. Mama needs some rays!

C. Sprouting goosebumps in the icy air conditioning of my local AMC. I don’t even care what’s on the big screen. Somehow, freezing my tits off feels good in a place like this.

D. I’m actually not lazy, I’m in Greece.

3. How would you describe your summer aesthetic?

A. Ranging from athletic to athleisure. Give  me sweat-wicking! Give me UV protection! Give me mobility!

B. Hot. It’s summer, duh?

C. Pajama bottoms, crusty top withered to threads that I’ve been wearing for 6 consecutive days, snack crumbs.

D. Mykonos chic. (Mykonos is in Greece.)

4. What’s your favorite part about summer?

A. Getting sunkissed.

B. Getting silly.

C. Getting to stream new releases.

D. Getting to Santorini. (I’m in Greece.)

5. What’s your favorite summery snack?

A. Trail mix. Gimme all the melty m&ms!

B. Chips and guac for the table.

C. Either something scalding from the microwave or a bowl of cereal. Nothing in between.

D. Have you heard of gyros? They’re Greek.

Drumroll, please! I present: Your Results!

Mostly A’s: Sticky, Sweaty, Stinky Summer 🤸🏻‍♀️

You’re movin and groovin out in that summer sun! With salty skin and abnormal tan lines, you’ve earned that sweaty stink. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. But also, maybe use the deodorant with aluminum just for a couple months. Please and thanks! Xx

Mostly B’s: Socialite Summer 🍹

You’re a patio princess. Drinks? Eats? Live music? Throw it on a patio and that’s summer, folks. Soak up that sun and please drink more water. This establishment’s signature summer cocktail does not count as hydration!

Mostly C’s: Couch Tomato Summer 🍅

You say potato, I say tomato. Because after all those days inside curled up in front of one of your many screens, you’ll inevitably get invited to a bbq or pool day you just can’t refuse and you’ll fry to a crisp, like bacon. The aftermath will be classic tomato. I’m saying you’re 2/3 of your way to a BLT.

Mostly D’s: Jetsetter Summer ✈️

You’re literally in Greece. I will be fantasizing about your jet lag and traveler’s diarrhea so I can at least attempt to be happy for you instead of simmering at my current temp of vicious jealousy. Good for you! Have fun! Bon voyage!

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• If you’re into that Tuesday after-work beach tennis thing and located in LA, come join us! Your first time’s free. Open to all skill levels. Great place to meet people, get in a workout, and work off some competitive energy. Check out OLA Beach Tennis for more info. And reply to this email if you wanna come because I play for free when I bring a new friend. Let’s play for free together! (It’s only $10 to play normally so no worries if not!!!)

Happy summer from your fellow sticky, sweaty, stinky!

ily bye,

Ariana