#28: What Type of Fall Girly Are You?

QUIZ

POP QUIZ! Hope you studied.

What Type of Fall Girly Are You?

Fall is here binches! In a culture obsessed with labels, it is essential that you define your fall vibe so we can all properly categorize you henceforth. Nobody can put you in a box, but you can put yourself in a bunch of boxes and then tell us which ones you’re hanging out in so we can hold it against you later.

1. Which best depicts your fall wardrobe?

A. Basic Baddie — You’re a Pinterest girly and you don’t care who knows it. In fact, you’re glad we know because you’ve been meaning to ask if we’ve tried Monat

B. Hallowed Hottie — Why be yourself when you can dress up as someone else? Or hide your identity entirely inside a pumpkin head?

C. Scary Spice — Not in the Mel B way. In the warm cinnamon, cardamom, and allspice bubbling up in a cauldron way

D. Sweaty Slay — You’re breaking out the full overcoat and it’s only 50 degrees

2. What’s your preferred fall bevvy?

A. The classic PSL (pumpkin spice latte — if you don’t know the acronym, is this one really you?)

B. Warm apple cider. Make it mulled, baby!

C. The blood of your enemies — just a drop for ritual purposes

D. Hot cocoa. Mini marshmallows welcome!

3. Which autumn leaf best captures your essence?

4. What’s your favorite fall outing?

A. Apple picking and an “impromptu” Instagram photoshoot to capture all the “candids”

B. Pumpkin patching with pals

C. Haunted housing except the ghosts are real and you’re the one exorcising them

D. Getting a front aisle seat to the unboxing of the holiday decor at every hobby store

5. What’s your ideal fall night in?

A. Baking a homemade pie that smells even better than the candles you have burning

B. Carving pumpkins, flinging guts in a not-food fight, and roasting seeds to munch on

C. Watching scary movies solo right before bed like a psychopath

D. Decking the halls with boughs of holly

6. What’s your favorite fall film?

A. Hocus Pocus

B. Halloweentown

C. Some horror movie I can’t even list because I’m afraid googling it will scar me, and I don’t really want any of the blood and guts in my browser history. Or Twitches

D. Santa Claus 2

7. What’s your favorite fall phrase?

A. I’m FALLin’ for ya (like a beautiful dead leaf cascading toward its grave)

B. Trick or treat (because you need to mentally prepare yourself if there are going to be tricks afoot)

C. Bubble bubble, toilet trouble (because witches have IBS too)

D. Merry Christmas!

8. Which Halloween costume best fits your fall vibe?

9. What’s your favorite fall treat?

A. Caramel apple suckers with little bits of plastic from the wrapper that never fully came off

B. PIE!

C. Halloween candy your parents didn’t even check for razor blades

D. A whole ham

Check your results!

Mostly A’s: The Fall Fanatic

You put the ALL in fall. This is your season, and you’re here for all of it. The smells, the activities, the photo ops. You’re going home for the harvest ready for sweater weather because it’s fall, y’all. Fall-elujah!

Mostly B’s: The Halloweenie

You love Halloween, but only the PG version. None of that scary stuff. You’re going to the Children’s Museum Haunted House with the lights on and even then your palms are sweaty. There’s nothing wrong with having a sweet gooey center and wanting to be cozy and festive without peeing your pants and suffering months of nightmares.

Mostly C’s: The Witch

Burn her at the stake! You’re not fooling anyone, Goody Proctor.

Mostly D’s: The Fall Forgoer

You’re counting down the days until it’s socially acceptable to sing Mariah Carrey’s All I Want for Christmas is You 93 times in a row during an 8-hour drive from Atlanta to Indianapolis. And before you say, why would someone do that? That’s ridiculous. I have done that, so shut your trap. It was glorious. Shoutout Anna Carnes for lead vocals. Try to enjoy the present, okay? Fall is cool too.

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Let me know what type of fall girly you are in the comments below. If you don’t like your results, please submit a 5-paragraph essay detailing how you feel this quiz wronged you and your autumnal essence. I will then, and only then, consider changing your grade. Please underline your thesis statement.

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Thank you for reading. I hope you pick pumpkins and pluck apples and carve jack-o-lanterns and jump in leaves and wear flannel and do all! the! things! this weekend.

Hope life is gourd,

Ariana